I struggled today thinking about what sort of entry I would make. My blog is supposed to be about money and such. At the risk of turning this into a bitch fest; I've sat quietly reading other blogs instead of letting my fingers assault my keyboard.

After gaining some much needed serenity, I've decided to bring you this; enjoy:

Let's start at the beginning. (I know what you, my imaginary readers, are thinking. Just hang in there!) I won't go into my first job, or even the second. What I will tell you is I was fresh out of high school and I landed a prestigious position as an office bitch, to put it delicately. But more importantly I still lived at home with only one bill to pay. So my paychecks went to mostly clothes and well, we'll just call that other thing, entertainment. I didn't do my laundry, I just bought more clothes. I look back on that today, and first I think "eew" and second, "what a waste". How is that I was brought up with no clue how to manage money? Maybe it was my good intentioned mother who spent time with us by going to the mall racking up my parents debt. Or maybe it was the lack of responsibility I was taught. Maybe it was my father, the enabler, who paid for a gas card and anything else I wanted. Either way, I can't and won't blame my current situation on my parents.

Ah the current situation. Through various bad decisions, made by yours truly, I have now in my possession a VW Passat. Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this car, at 40,000 miles. Today, it has upwards of 83,000. In the past I have traded in car after car after car trying to avoid costly repairs only to find myself upside down on yet another vehicle. Not just upside down, but owing 15 grand on a car worth 5. It's also in need of some serious repairs. I guess not that serious, it's still running... but 2,500 worth of repairs, that’s half its worth.

I am still, at the ripe age of 26, trying to figure out how the hell to balance a checking account. I have income and bills and more bills. All these bills are also direct results of more terrible decision-making. Like moving out on my own, taking a serious pay cut to be "happy" (where I found myself more miserable than ever before) and acquiring all sorts of credit cards. Ok, not just acquiring them, but also maxing them out in a matter of weeks. I'm telling you people; I go off the deep end.

So I find myself hardly making ends meet. I spend hours trying to figure out how the hell to pull this one off. I look at my income and expenses. Ah ha, I've got it! No more Starbucks. Well fuck, that does nothing for my morale. Ok, so I negotiate with myself; I will not drink over priced coffee twice a day, but instead cut back to twice a week. Oh and that eating out stuff, that's just crazy. One meal for me costs about 15 to 20 bucks. I find myself thinking about how many lattes that would be. [My mind wanders, sorry]

So I cut back, no Starbucks in excessive amounts, no eating out (giggle) and I start obsessing about coupons and sales and grocery store ads. Still I find myself barely making ends meet, even after all this "saving".

I started to look into other means. I have 401k. So I called those money grubbing bastards and found out that, yes that is my money, but not really. And car repairs do not fall under a "hardship loan". After trying to get this guy to sympathize with me for 15 minutes, I just break down, cry and hang up. I was pretty sure it was hopeless and I should quit trying.

Then I had this other great idea. A personal loan! Surely I could get one. Wrong again, apparently the bank doesn't look too kindly to having 100% of your credit cards maxed. Who cares if I pay on time, every time. Fuckers.

After another snot fest, I finally give up. I figure I'll just drive this piece of crap until it really falls apart and then I can just bum rides all over town.

After a series of fortunate events, I find myself on the phone with a friend who works at an auto parts store. Who can get me parts at cost and "knows a guy". So with $460 I can get my car fixed. Well, most of it fixed. I find myself scrambling to come up with this money, even looking in the couch. Well payday comes around and I go to pay my ridiculously overpriced insurance and realize it's not due until September. Holy freaking cha-ching Batman! So with that money and the money left after bills I am almost there. Just a little shy. Then I remember that I can get a direct deposit advance and I'm set!

So this weekend, provided my lovely silver Volkswagen doesn't die before or on the way, I will be taking a small road trip to get this beast fixed right up.

So the moral of this excessively long post loaded with run-ons, is...

... Throw a fit and you'll get your way.